Mommy Talk

Growing up

2005-01-14T11:12:00.000-08:00

Max is now 9 and a half months old. He's growing so fast and becoming a "real person."
Hopefully people will know what I mean by that. I no longer talk at him, but to him. And I actually wait for a response. It usually isn't a response that helps me any, but it some sort of coo, laugh or screech.
Max pulls up, he walks (with help) and is trying to crawl. I feel so bad for him. He sees something and its like he thinks that he can get up and walk to it. He gets in the crawling position but his legs hold him back and before he knows it, he's on his face. He takes it in pretty good stride, though. He gets on his stomach and scoots over to what he sees if its not too far away.
It breaks my heart though. For his own sake, I wish he could crawl. I know that some babies walk and never crawl, its just so hard to see him so alive and alert and excited about exploring things--and yet not being able to get there.
Whenever he sees me, he makes this excited gasping noise (he does this lately with everything he sees) and holds up his arms. Not for me to carry him, but to walk him. He knows that Mommy spends nearly all day walking. It is tiring and boring for me. We walk in every room over and over and over, exploring the same thing over and over and over. But its good for Max, it makes him happy, and it gives him something to be proud of. And I've been noticing lately that his grip on my fingers isn't as strong as it used to be. In fact, sometimes without any warning, he even lets go (and pitches forward). So we walk! It may not be at the end of 9 months that he'll be walking like I had predicted. He's doing really good, but I would be very surprised to see him walking on his own in a week and a half. Heck, I'd be surprised if he was walking on his own at the end of 10 months! I can see more realistically 11 months. Max is a strong baby, but he is also very cautious, and I think that might hold him back from doing things too soon. Maybe that's why he doesn't crawl, who knows.
Well anyway, he'll walk and crawl when he's good and ready, I suppose. In the meantime, I'll just focus on enjoying this time in his life. The time when he actually does need me!! I've heard from many senior mothers that this diminishes over time, although I think that a child always needs her mother, just in a different way.

Max pulls up!

2005-01-09T13:41:00.000-08:00

I usually don't write more than once a week, but I just had to write today. Max pulled himself up today! Ok, I know that this may not seem like a big deal to most people, but for me its a milestone reached. I was thinking that even though Max is walking very well now (although still with help) that he would never pull himself up. Not because I don't think he could do it, but because we dont' have any furniture for him to pull himself up on. Remember, we came from an apartment and even there our furniture was pretty sparse. We don't even have a coffee table that he can pull himself up on. Our sofa is too round and cushy for him to get a good grip on, so I was running out of ideas. But I shouldn't have worried. Babies have a way of determining what they can or can't pull up on, and for Max it was his toybox. So far its the only thing he can pull up on but its something. I was so happy for him; he didn't seem to think it was a big deal as he ignored my congratulations and enthusiasm as he went through his toys.
He's now sleeping. He's going on to two hours now. His dad is pretty happy about that. I'm going to be going to a movie with my friends and Dennis hopes that Max will sleep as long as possible.

Uh-oh. I just heard the little monster now. I've got to go in 10 minutes and Daddy is not going to be happy...

A new year

2005-01-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

Well, its been a while since I've last wrote. Max is now starting on his second week of being 9 months old. He's continuing to walk with more and more confidence every day although we have to help him. He also is trying out different sounds. "Ba-ba" "ya-ya" and "ah-oh" seem to be the most popular right now. Grinding his teeth too, has become a favorite, though Dennis and I hate it and pop the pacifier back in his mouth everytime he starts.
For Christmas we went north to Dennis's parents house in Superior, WI. Max doesn't get to see his grandparents too often so its hard for both him and the grandparents to enjoy eachother. He doesn't like anyone getting too near him or too close unless they have been in the same room with him for the first hour or so. But sometimes its hard for eager grandparents to wait, and before Max would know what was happening, he would wind up on someone's knee or in someone's arm and he would cry his head off. Then he would be immediatly returned back to me or Dennis.
Max recieved alot of nice presents. A whole bunch of sleeper pajamas (I think he's set for the winter) a red firetruck, a table and stools for when he gets older, and a few books which for the time being, he doesn't seem too interested in although I keep trying to read to him. Dennis and I also each bought a gift for him. I bought him a plastic toy that is like a bowl. It has balls inside of it that spin around inside the bowl when the bowl is shook. They baby is supposed to shake the bowl and the bowl will automatically spin which makes the balls spin. Along with that, it makes alot of noise with music and flashing lights. I don't know if Max likes it. He takes the balls out and throws it back in the bowl, but whenever the bowl starts to shake, Max just holds it down, like he doesn't want it to make all that noise. Maybe when he's older he like it more.
Dennis was smarter. He bought Max some rings that you put on a stand. The stand lights up and makes music everytime a ring is taken off or put back on. Max loves the rings. He kicks his legs everytime he sees the toy.
Max also met his newest cousin, Gracie for the first time. Gracie is Dennis's brothers daughter. (Uncle Jeff) Gracie is 6 months old and a little cutie. She and Max had a good time staring at eachother. Max got to see a Christmas tree for the first time. To my surprise he didn't seem too interested in it. Maybe its just too big and too much to take in all at once. I'm sure next year he'll be more excited over a Christmas tree.
And thats it. It was a good Christmas and a new start to a new year. We're all excited as Max seems to more and more ready to walk and be more independent. We still haven't baby-proofed the house yet, so I guess we should do that. The other day he stood on his own for a second or two. It wasn't long, but he did it. (Sigh). Even though I'm excited as Max approaches the toddler stage, I'm also going to miss his babyhood. It was challenging, but it was fun.
But in the meantime, for 2 and a half more months, he is still my baby!

Hives

2004-12-15T09:08:00.000-08:00

So we finally got our french doors that we ordered. Dennis and a friend put them in on Monday night. It was hard for them because they were working against a clock--Max's clock. Though I tried the best I could, I couldn't get Max to take more than two naps, so he was really tired that evening and wanted to go to bed early. It was pointless to try to put him to sleep with all the noise that Dennis and his friend were making with the doors, so I tried my best to entertain Max.
He had lausagna for the first time that night. Well, he's had it before, but it was always the baby food kind. But he's officially graduated from baby food and is now eating table foods, but ground up real good. He was liking the lausanga ok except that it was alot for him to chew even though I was giving him a little at a time. Eventually he seemed full and I went to wipe his face when I happened to look at his hand. His wrist was a blotchy red and was swollen and hot. I wondered how that happend. It didn't seem to be hurting him. I passed it off as a spider bite, and we went on the floor to play. I had showed the "bug bite" to Dennis when Max's ear caught my eye. Now his ear was swelling up! I checked his other ear. It seemed to be fine. Back to his red ear. It was red and swollen, twice the size of his other ear. Now I was starting to get worried. I showed Dennis Max's "injuries" again. "I think its a weird rash,"I said, " but I've never seen rashes swell up. Did you work with a new chemical today?" (Dennis is a machienist and works with a lot of chemicals.) "No, " Dennis said," But just in case, try giving him a bath to wash whatever it is off." This was good news to Max, who loves baths. I filled the bathtub, and the familiar sound of water got Max's feet going as he kicked his legs excitedly. I undressed him, lifted him to the bathtub while Max got his legs in the sitting position in anticipation. Sat him down, and washed his hair, washed his back, and was about to wash his legs when I noticed red spots on his legs. Again, I didn't think much of it because Max tends to scratch himself alot, especially when he's excited. But after I washed his chest, the red spots multiplied. Right before my eyes, they went from red spots to white bumps, like insect bites. I quickly took Max out of the bathtub, wrapped him in a towel and again showed Dennis. When I unwrapped the towel, the white bumps had turned into huge white lumps, like bee stings. I explained how I had seen all this happen, right before my eyes. Dennis suggested going to Urgent Care, but I declined, knowing that it was hives, but not knowing where it came from. Finally I decided it had to be from the lausagna. "It was new food to him," I explained to Dennis. "But he's had it before with baby food,"he argued. "Still," I insisted, "everyone has a different recipe for lausanga. Ours probably had a something different in it that the baby food didn't." I didnt' want to think that it could be anything else, because I had no idea what else it could be. Therefore, I stubbornly decided it was the lausanga, and everything would be ok. I just wouldn't feed him lausagna again.
Max was exhausted. I couldn't keep him up any longer. It was already an hour past his bedtime. I announced that I was putting Max to bed and asked Dennis to try to be quiet with the installation of the door. He promised he would try his best.
I put Max to sleep, which was easy since he was so exhausted. I was exhausted too, because of all the worrying over Max's hives/rash. I went to my own room and relaxed as I watched TV. I called my sister, brother and mom but none of them were home. I left a messege for my sister to call, and one for my mom to call. I needed to know if there were any home remedies for rashes that I should do. I tried my doctors office but they had not rolled over their phones, so I kept getting a messege that "there was one call ahead of me" which was me. I didn't have a nurses line--the only one I had were messeges only which were returned the next day. I felt frusterated. I didn't know what to do, and no one was around to help me. I finally decided to just leave it in God's hands, and hope that Max's hives wouldn't get so bad that it affected his breathing. I turned the baby monitor up on high just in case, and finally began to relax.
All of a sudden there was loud thumping--apparently Dennis and his friend were pounding on the wall for some reason to see if the door was sound. I don't know if that's what woke Max up or if it was the hives, but I angrily went to Max's room to put him to sleep--again. Max was all riled up. He wanted to fall back to sleep, but couldn't. He kept twisting and turning in my arms and kept crying. I wrapped Max in a blanket, and forced myself to calm down as I went out to the living room where Dennis and his friend were working. Dennis immediatly looked contrite as he realized they woke up Max. I was about to tell them it was time to call it a night when I looked at Max. His entire face was now broken out with the hives. That was it. Dennis sent his friend home and we took Max to the Urgent Care. Apparently no one was going to get sleep if we didn't find out what was going on with Max.
It turned out that Max wasn't allergic to lausanga (which is good because its one of the best foods around) but Amoxycilin, which is what he was on for his ear infections. The doctor gave him a large dose of Benedrly to get the hives to go away and instructed us to give it to Max every six hours. Thankfully, the swelling never reached his throat, but the doctor warned us that if it should reach his throat to call 911 right away. I was thankful that we finally had our answer and our "cure". Not only did the Benedryl get rid of Max's hives, but it also made him sleepy and he slept until 7 the next morning.
Max still is getting the hives but no where near as bad as what it was. I'm just glad it was nothing more serious and that Max's allergic reaction wasn't life threatening, like some people's allergies are. So that is our daily drama for now--hives. But Max seems to be feeling fine regardless, and is a little walking machine with or without the hives. He doesn't walk on his own yet, we have to help him. But I know that by the end of 9 months, he'll be walking on his own. His balance is getting more and more steady each day. I warned Dennis that we finally need to get that gate for the stairs and baby proof the house which we have put off long enough. 'Cause once Max gets going, I doubt he'll ever stop, and then that's where the real drama begins!

Sleeping through the night!

2004-12-12T09:31:00.000-08:00

Hurray! Max has now slept through the night for a whole week and a half. Unlike the last time he slept through the night for a week, I believe that Max has reached a new milestone in his life, and I'm finally going to be able to sleep through the night as well.
It all started when we moved Max into the computer room so that I could finally paint and decorate Max's room. (It was painted a girlish pale pink). The computer room is a little smaller than Max's room, so it holds heat better. I believe that that really helped, since Max's room gets as low as 62 degrees during the night. (We had found that out by buying a thermometer and putting it in Max's room. His room is directly above the garage so it gets really cold.) I also have been working with Max on teaching him to fall back to sleep on his own. I finally cut the bad habit of giving him a bottle when he woke up at night and I stopped picking him up out of the crib too. I would just rewrap him in his blankets, give him his pacifier and try to soothe him back to sleep by stroking his hair. Then once he started calming down, I would duck down on the floor and let him fall back to sleep on his own. It was a week of spending a lot of time on his bedroom floor, but it was worth it. Pretty soon Max went from waking up twice a night to once a night. The time it took for him to fall asleep went from a half hour to ten minutes. And the best part was, I really wasn't doing a thing! I was just wrapping him up again and then I would "disappear" and he would do the falling asleep on his own. God was finally answering my prayers. He was "teaching Max to fall asleep on his own."
When we moved Max into the computer room, I only had to go in there once during the week to put a pacifier back in Max's mouth and then I went straight back to bed instead of waiting for him to fall asleep while I waited on the floor. Dennis and I decided that the coldness of the bedroom had to be half the problem of him waking up since he was now sleeping so well in the computer room. So Dennis went out and bought an expensive (but well worth it) heater that was both safe and reliable. I was worried about fires, but the kind of heater that we have now holds heat real well without getting too hot. Of course, you always have to be careful with heaters no matter how safe they are, so we're careful to not have anything lying by the heater. At any rate, Max is back in his own room now and is continuing to sleep through the night. I am happy to say that it is so nice to be able to go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 6a.m rather than 2 a.m! I will never take sleep for granted again!
Max also had his first ear infection. Double ear infection, actually. He handled the pain really well. He never spiked a fever and for the most part, he was cheerful. We didn't even suspect an ear infection until he would cry every time we would try to feed him a bottle. Apparently, the sucking hurt his ears. But he's on medication now and is feeling much better.
Other than that, nothing else is new. Just sleeping through the night and getting teeth. Oh yes, teeth! Max has two top teeth coming in, plus two more on the top with two more on the bottom. Poor kid has teeth popping out everywhere. It has been making him pretty needy and crabby. I feel bad for him, but better to just get it all done at once I suppose.
Well, its a windy cold day and Max is down sleeping. I think I will take advantage of the quiet and snuggle up with a good book in a hot bath. Ahhh....

Trial and Error

2004-11-30T08:21:00.000-08:00

Well, Max celebrated his first Thanksgiving. It went pretty well. I wasnt' sure how he would react to all the people, but he did good because there were other kids there that also were enjoying the attention the grown ups gave them, so it wasn't all focused on Max. The next day, however, he didn't do as well. We had gone to my parents to celebrate my birthday, and Max was a lot more fussier that day. Dennis and I figured it was because he was still recovering from the Thanksgiving hype that day before. You have to remember, as of now, Max is an only child and isn't used to so many people all at once in his face, especially children. So he gets overwhelmed pretty easily. But I thought he handled it pretty well. He smiled "politely" to everyone but didn't want anyone touching him but me and Dennis. That was fine, but I think it hurt Grandma's feelings, although she didn't admit it.
So now that Thanksgiving and my birthday celebration were over, you would think that we could relax and enjoy the weekend, right? Wrong. The in-laws came for the weekend from out of town. Don't get me wrong, Dennis's parents are the nicest people in the world, its just that all of us were trying to get over the last two very hectic days. And for me to try to describe how it was hectic would take too long, so just trust me when I say it was hectic. Dennis's parents live in Superior, WI so they don't get to see Max too often. I warned them about Max's stranger anxiety which he had developed recently and I knew that it was going to be hard for them to wait for Max to warm up to them again. Unfortunately, it took Max a long time to warm up to them again, so it was a little while before he allowed either grandparent to hold him. But eventually things began to relax and we began to have a good time visiting. Just when I feel like I can finally just relax and breathe out a sigh of relief, Max gets sick with a cold. Luckily it didn't come with a fever or anything, but its been a pretty bad cold. I spent that night up late with Max as he kept waking up from coughing, sneezing, and nose sniffling. The next morning, we both woke up pretty crabby. I had slept (as much as Max would allow) on the sofa and it wasn't very comfortable. I tried hard to put on a happy face for Dennis's parents but I know that they could tell that I wasn't doing too well mood-wise. I guess you could say that I was just shot. With the holiday stress, plus turning 30, and then having female problems along with all the socializing, I was just worn out and all I wanted to do was sleep. On top of that, Max was reacting from the stress of the past three days and now he was sick. Dennis tried to cheer me up on the way to church by promising that as soon as everything calmed down, that he would take Max while I enjoyed a hot bath with all my new bath soaps that everyone bought me. That did cheer me up, and I was looking forward to it. On the way home from church, we decided to stop at the gas station for doughnuts since we decided to skip "Doughnut Sunday" at church in order to visit with Dennis's parents. Dennis got a jelly filled doughnut and I had custard. We were beginning to feel light-hearted again about things when all of a sudden out of nowhere, this coyote tries to cross the road and Dennis accidentally hit him. Neither of us saw him coming. All of a sudden I felt the car lurch to the side and then there was a loud smack, and then a sickening bump as I felt us go over the coyote. I'm ashamed to admit that I was a drama queen during the whole thing. I had no idea what or who we hit. I was so afraid it was a person because it was such a huge bump that we went over. I had screamed and then cried "No!" as I thought of the animal or person, dead on the road. Poor Max got scared by my reaction and started crying himself. I quit my hysterics immediatly but I couldn't bring myself to calm Max down, so I began to feed him little bits of my crushed doughnut as Dennis went to check on what we had hit. Max immediatly quit crying as he tasted the custard and eagerly opened his mouth for more. I waited impatiently for Dennis to come back. Mind you, I still didn't know at this time what we had hit. I refused to look. All sorts of things were coming to mind, I was praying so hard that it wasn't a person. Finally after what seemed like forever, Dennis came back and told me that it was a coyote. Yes, he made sure that he wasn't suffering anymore and that he was dead. He had to drag him to the side of the road and traffic wasnt' letting him get through, so that was what took him so long. Dennis knew my sensitivity to animals and felt real bad about accidentally killing the coyote. I let him know it wasnt' his fault and of course I didn't blame him. I was just glad that it wasn't me driving, since I probably would have freaked out at the wheel and risked getting us all in an accident. I was thankful that we were ok. No damage was done to the car except that hitting the animal took out my front license plate. We went home feeling quite sober than what we had, and I threw the remains of my custard doughnut out the window, much to Max's disappointment.
After coming home and telling Dennis's parents about the coyote incident, I had to put Max to bed. His cold was getting worse and he just wanted to sleep. I felt bad because Dennis's parents were going to be leaving soon, but they were understanding as they knew that Max wasn't feeling good. After they left, Dennis and I finally got to relax on the couch and watched a little TV. We still had one more visit to get through--my parents coming over with my sister and her kids to see the new house. I was dreading that visit because I wanted Max to get his nap. Like I said, he was sick and the past few days with all the unaccustomed excitement, Max was not getting his sleep at nights, which meant that I wasn't either. But Max woke before they came over, so it went pretty well for which I was thankful. My mom proudly showed my sister around the house while Max and I tagged along. I don't know if I mentioned in my blogs that the house we are living in now is owned by my parents. They bought the house in exchange for Dennis and I living in it and fixing it up, and when we move out, they will get the profit. I was glad that my mom got a chance to show my sister the house even though I had wanted some peace and quiet. I knew that it was important to her, and besides, it is her house so who am I to say no?
It all went really well though, and I was glad they came by to visit since my sister and her family will be going back to town soon. Max was ok with all the noise that the children made; I think he was finally getting used to the chaos. Not only that, but he let Grandma hold him for once, and I think that made Grandma happy. So here it is, Tuesday morning and we are all recovering from the hectic week. Poor Max has really been sick with this cold. He is all congested and the medicane we've been giving him hasnt' been helping at all. I was up from 2 AM to 5 AM this morning with Max, because he wasnt' able to sleep because of his congestion. And before that, he also woke up at 11PM so I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep all night. Dennis stayed home this morning so I could get a little more sleep, which I did and I feel a little better. I know that Dennis can't always stay home those nights that I get no sleep, so believe me, I'm thankful for whenever he does stay home. It has just been such a trying week and I guess I'm just done!
But you know what I realized? I realized that if you pray that you will attain the virtues of charity and patience, then God will give it to you, but not without the trials of attaining it. Otherwise, how else are you going to learn charity and patience if its not practiced??
So bring it on, this past week of no sleep has only in the end made me stronger, not weaker, and my sympathy and love for Max has only increased. I guess nobody said it would be easy as God turns a girl into a mother.

Where has the time gone?

2004-11-23T08:37:00.000-08:00

Max is turning 8 months old today. Where has the time gone??
Not too much is new since I last wrote, he is doing much better with finger foods and I can finally say that I am now relaxed about it. Hopefully this month we will start him on "real food" like broccoli and stuff.
Thanksgiving is coming up and so is my birthday. It unfortunately lands on Thanksgiving this year. I am not especially looking forward to my birthday because this will be the big 3-0. I never thought I would turn thirty. Only old people turn thirty, not me. I still look young, but always tired. The other day a man came to the door selling something and asked me if my mom or dad was home. I was like, "Um, noooo..." I must have sounded snotty or something because he started saying, oh, I didn't know you look like you're 18 and all that. I didn't mean to sound snotty but I was thinking, what is the deal?? Not too long ago, when people were campaining, a man stopped by and asked me the same thing: is my mom or dad home? I told him no, but he had my vote just for saying that. Still, looking young when you're 30 isn't always the best thing either. Especially when people assume I'm still a teenager.
Well anyway, this is supposed to be about Max, not me. Max has been in an unbelievably good mood lately. Everything he sees lately just delights him. Its fun especially bringing him places. He goes wild with excitement anytime he sees a person walk by, or a car drive by, or geese fly by. As I go down the asiles looking for something, Max starts smacking his toungue (which is what he does when something interests him) just like my grandparents used to do. He has been experimenting alot with his mouth lately. Some pretty interesting noises come out.
Well, I should get going and do some stuff around here I guess. Will write again later.

Chew, chew, chew!

2004-11-18T11:01:00.000-08:00

So I've decided that its finally time to start Max on finger foods. Unlike solids, I have been dreading this step in his life for fear of him choking. I know most people start babies on finger foods at 7 months and some even earlier. Max is now almost 8 months and I'm just starting now.
I went to the Gerbers website for a little direction for what is safe and what isn't. For the most part, it listed off finger food that we didn't happen to have. Everything except for Saltines. Of course its Saltines, I thought to myself, it just happens to be the most crumbily cracker.
So I took out the video camera, thinking it would be fun to tape Max eat his first finger food. I hit record, then said a prayer and handed Max a cracker while I watched him breathlessly. At first, he didn't know what to do with it. Normally he puts everything to his mouth, but this he turned it around and around, looked at it closely, and rubbed it a few times on the carpet. I couldn't take the suspense anymore. "Put it in your mouth, Max" I urged. He ignored me and took his time. Finally, after what seemed to be forever, he took it tenatively to his mouth and gave it a lick. He took it out and looked at it again, and then licked again. A few more times and then a suck. And then a longer suck. I began to breathe easier. If he just kept sucking, there would be no danger of choking. I was wrong. Max got braver and decided to test out his chompers. Before I knew it there were large pieces of cracker bouncing around his mouth. I panicked and dropped the camera and quickly scooped out the pieces. That was the last time I tried finger foods.
But then I went to my mom's group and saw one of the mom's feeding her baby Cheerios. I asked her about how she went about the whole finger food thing and she said she started her baby at 7 months. I confessed that I didn't start yet except for the Saltine for fear of Max choking. "I know that the longer I wait, the harder it will be for him to learn to chew" I said, "but I'm just so worried about him choking!" "Would you like him to try a Cheerio?" the mom asked solitiously. I hesitated for only a moment. What better way to try a finger food out with Max with a bunch of mom's around?? So I gave him the Cheerio, and all the moms temporarily forgot about their own children and leaned forward in anticipation. "He's chewing it!" one mom said excitedly. "He is?" I said hopefully. I had Max on my lap and I couldn't watch his face. "He's still chewing..."said the same mom, "there! He swallowed it!" We all aplauded for Max, who seemed to forget the whole thing once he had an eye on another babies toy and went to grab for it.
I went home feeling like a small weight had been lifted off my shoulders. If Max could eat one Cheerio, then he could eat another and another and graduate to other things.
The next day, I sent Dennis out to get Cheerios. All day, I gave Max one Cheerio at least per hour. I didn't want to overload him since it was a new experience and he didn't seem to like the work of chewing. But each time he ate a Cheerio (with me in the backround cheering him on: "Chew! Chew! Chew!") he seemed to grow more confident. Today, which is our 3rd day of finger foods, he opens his mouth wide when he sees the Cheerio and chews expertedly. Dennis also went out and got Biter Biscuts and some more Gerber chewing stuff. We also graduated from Gerbers 2nd foods to Gerbers 3rd foods where there is some texture to the food and requres some chewing.
I never thought I would have so much fun watching Max chew. I guess its exciting to me because he is growing up, and that small milestone of chewing that he has reached opens the door to so many yummy chewing things!

Meet Max!

2004-11-13T17:41:00.000-08:00

So our neighbors across the street asked us out to dinner. They had walked over and rang the doorbell during Max's naptime. Not knowing who they were, I was a little on the cold side to them simply because I was annoyed that they might have woken up Max, him being a light sleeper and all. But once they introduced themselves I was immediately contrite and put on a friendly face. I let them know that I would ask Dennis what our plans were and get back to them about dinner.
After talking it over, we decided that it would be best if we could meet for lunch instead of dinner since Max would be fussy in the evening and wanting to go to bed. We still don't have any babysitters except for my mom, but she lives somewhat far away and we didn't want her to drive home late at night. So I tried to explain this to our neighbor lady but she wouldn't hear of it. "Bring Max along,"she encouraged. I tried to explain that it would be too late for Max to be up. "We'll make it an early dinner" she said. Then I tried to explain that he was somewhat of a fussy baby and would not be able to sit quietly during the dinner. "We'll entertain him!"she countered. I warned her that he could be a handful and would be impatient while we tried to eat. "We'll make it quick." she promised. A little perplexed, I asked, "do you have any children?" No. Well, that explained everything. But I agreed that we would meet for an early dinner as long as they understood what they were in for. I didn't want to appear any more snobbish than I had already come off when I answered the door. Besides, we were new in the neighborhood and it would be good to get to know our neighbors.
We hoped that Max would have a good long nap in the afternoon so he would feel refreshed for the evening. Wrong! He had a short nap and was cranky for the rest of the afternoon. His stomach seemed to be bothering him. Dennis and I kept commenting to each other how we were dreading the evening and wished we could cancel, but I felt like if we did that, our chance to get to know our outgoing neighbors would be gone. So we went. To our surprise, Max was pretty good in the resteraunt at first. It was a resturaunt/bar and there was music and lots of people including a lot of kids. We met the neighbors there and ordered appetizers. Max was captivated by some balloons that some kids were playing with nearby our table. I thanked God for those balloons. When he got tired of that, he began to get fussy and pounded on the table. I took out his rattle while we talked with the neighbors. He soon got tired of that so I fed him some baby food that we brought along. Turkey and rice. He hated it. He made faces and spit it out, and smeared the food all over the table. I was afraid of grossing out the neighbors, so I took him to the bathroom to wash his face and hands. We came back and I tried to entertain Max while we visited.
It turned out the neighbors were very nice. We didn't have too much in common at first, but after a little digging we found a couple of things we had in common.
Dennis seemed to warm up and was soon talking off their ears. They in turn, talked off his ear. I tried my best to follow along with the conversation, but Max was too distracting. He did not want to be in the highchair anymore so he wound up on my lap. I had him over my shoulder, thinking that he was feeling the backs of our seats but found out that he was tugging on the coat of the lady who was sitting behind us. She was very nice about it and smiled at him. I turned him around and took a sip of my pop. He lunged for it and we had a tug of war over who would win the pop. I kept kicking Social Butterfly Dennis for help and finally he broke off his conversation to grab the glass away from Max, and then handed it back to me. I tried to take a sip from the glass but found that the straw was gone. I looked around for it to discover that it was in Max's mouth and he was savoring the sweetness of the taste of pop. I grabbed another straw and tried again to follow the conversation. Now they were talking about computers. Yes, we were having a problem with our computer too, Dennis was telling them. Max was now trying to play with our menus. I took mine away from him. He went for Dennis's. No, you can't play with Daddy's menu. He went for the neighbor lady's. No, give that back. He grabbed the wine list. Don't you want your rattle?? Now they were talking about remodeling their house. We took that opportunity to tell them all about our plans with our house. I think I followed along long enough to hear Dennis talk about the new wooden blinds we got for the kitchen window when Max tackled the shiny silverware. Dennis took that away from him. I tried putting Max on the floor. He actually liked that, but I was afraid of people tripping over him since it was so busy. Again Max went on my lap. Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy. Max yodeled and chirped as he bounced up and down on my lap. Our food arrived! A big plate of mozzarella sticks, buffalo wings, chicken fingers and quesadias. I tried to grab a chicken finger but Max got there first. I took that away from him. Next he tried for a buffalo wing. Again, I blocked his attempt. After that, he combined everything that he wanted into one big flying arms attempt. Menues, my pop, the silverware, the food, our neighbors food, the staws...I felt like I was playing dodge ball and Max was the one throwing the balls while I was blocking all the blows. I looked over at the table with the kids and saw that their babies were also out of their highchairs but sitting contently on their parents laps.
But what can I say, Max was tired and we knew what we were getting ourselves into. The more tired Max gets, the louder and more hyper he gets before he just finally breaks down into a fit of hysterical crying. The neighbors were nice about keeping things short like they had promised, and we were soon walking to our cars. After saying goodnight to them, Dennis commented how Max was so good and calm during dinner. "Where were you??" I asked him incredulously, "he was all over the place!" Dennis said something about how he didn't notice and how good the food was. I didn't bother to tell him that I was lucky to eat one chicken finger during the entire meal while Max was busy trying to grab everything off the table.
But all in all, we got out and made some friends, so it was worth it. I hope to go out with the neighbors again, and this time I think, they'll let us leave Max at home.

Max's shadow

2004-11-11T11:15:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how Max has grown in these past few months. Not only in weight and size but maturity as well. Well, as mature as a baby can get, anyway. Did I tell you that he is now 7 and a half months old? He is growing so fast!
Everyone told me how fast it would go. I have to say, those first few months did not go by fast. More like they crawled. But now that Max is older and more interactive, he is getting to be so much fun. He also is showing his temper. Not that he has never shown it before, but I guess now we can see specifically what he's mad at. Usually its us.
He has another tooth coming in, which explains the crabby mood that he's been in the past few weeks. You would think that Dennis and I would know by now that he is always teething, but I guess what we can't see is usually forgotten. I only know that he has another tooth coming in because one night he happened to have his head tilted way back as he was looking up at a light and I saw a little corner of a tooth coming through his top gum. So break out the Tylonel and Oraje, he's at it again! Poor baby, he's been drooling so much lately that he's actually choked a few times on excess saliva (his Daddy does that too, its really gross.)
He has continued to sleep through the night except for waking up once this week. I have to say, I am really impressed! It really makes a difference to be able to sleep through the night. I wouldn't say that I wake up refreshed since he usually wakes up between 4:30 and 5:00 AM, but I can't complain. I'm beginning to learn not to count on anything when it comes to Max, that way I'm never disappointed.
I bought a little toothcare kit for Max since all these teeth are popping out of nowhere. The doctor said that using a washcloth would be fine, but Max says otherwise. I can't get anywhere near his mouth with the washcloth and if I do happen to get lucky and get it in there, he chomps down on the washcloth and my finger like a pitbull and doesn't let go, and let me tell you now that he has teeth, it really hurts! So now we have this toothcare kit that is supposed to take care of his oral needs from infancy to toddler age. There is a little finger toothbrush that cleans the gums, and Max likes that best. I use it to clean the teeth too, since he lets me. I think its because he is most comfortable with the finger rather than anything else since I used to let him suck on my finger like a pacifier when he was younger. There is a gum massager, which Max doesn't seem to be impressed with. He tosses it on the floor after chomping on it a few times. And then there is the "toothbrush" that he's supposed to use now; it has little rubber bristles. He "allows" me to brush it over his teeth if I am very gentle, but I can't be in there too long. And finally, there is the regular toothbrush to use when he is older. When Dennis bought this for me at my request, I was very excited over it. Can you tell? I don't get out much as I used to.
Today Max discovered his shadow. He was sitting on the floor, feeling the texture of the carpet, basking in the sunlight like a lazy cat. I saw the opportunity to get things done since Max was entertaining himself and did stuff around the house. I heard him start to whimper like he was getting scared, so I came back to let him know that I was still here. But he wasn't looking for me, he was looking at the floor where the shadow of his hand was. He was holding his hand up in the air, and then would cautiously "touch" it on the floor and then get even more scared. I think he was scared because the shadow would get bigger as he drew his arm away or something. He began to cry so I came to get him and tried to explain that shadows were a good thing, it meant existance, and that if his shadow ever disappeared, that that would not be a good sign.
Anyway, we left the room and left his shadow on the floor, and went to a darker room where it wouldn't bother him anymore.
Well, as usual, I'm blogging this as he sleeps so I should take the opportunity to do my domestic duties as well. Will write again soon.

A dreary Monday

2004-11-08T11:50:00.000-08:00

Today is a dreary day, and it is fittingly Monday. Max is in a so-so mood, not too bad though, I can't complain. Poor kid is having a stomach ache today. Grandma went overboard in feeding him yesterday by giving him a 6 ounce bottle along with a whole jar of baby food. She thought he was hungry though, because he kept opening his mouth every time she dipped into the baby food. Max is not one of those babies that will turn his face away when he is full. The only way that I can tell is that he's full is that he gets less enthusiastic about opening his mouth with each bite he takes. And of course, more food starts getting spit out more than it gets in. But I guess Grandma didn't notice that. Oh well.
Well not much is going on today other than the usual house chores. Max is still sleeping through the night since my last entry (yay!) Although, he did wake up last night at 11:30 but that was different because his diaper leaked out. Other than that, he slept until 5 this morning.
We're trying to work on Max's crawling. I know you're not supposed to force a baby into doing anything, but the kid does not want to crawl! He balks and cries everytime we put him on his stomach. Its like he's given up on crawling and doesn't want to try at all anymore. So we put him on his stomach and he raises himself up and then we bring his knees up so he is in the crawling postition. And when he's like that, he seems happy. He starts smiling and cooing until his arms give out and he winds up face down on the carpet. Don't feel too bad for him. He likes to have his face in the carpet. What I thought was just moping, turned out that he was chewing on the carpet. Eww.
Well, I hear the little man waking up now. Must go!

Max and God

2004-11-06T09:26:00.000-08:00

Well if anyone has been faithfully reading my past blogs, you would know that my main complaint with Max (no matter how delightful he's been) is that its been so hard with putting him to sleep.
Everyone has their own method of putting their babies to sleep. Some people have their babies "cry it out" which is something I will not do, others train their babies to fall asleep by putting them in their crib sleepy but awake.
And I chose the rocking method. Easy to do when the baby is small and a newborn; hard to do when the baby is 20 something pounds and getting stronger everyday.
I don't know why, but putting Max to sleep is a really big deal to me. I guess every mom has something that she worries about with her kids, and for me, its that Max gets his proper sleep. And for Max to get good sleep, he has to go to sleep calm. And to be calm, I have to calm him down. And that is my main complaint.
The other complaint I have also had is that Max has been waking up during the night ever since he's started teething. A continual complaint that has been. And yet, something that I have been trying hard to accept as one of the many crosses of parenthood. I've learned to pray as I put Max to sleep. I talk to Jesus and Mary and pray for Max as a baby, for when he is a child, and when he becomes an adult. I pray that God will protect him and to keep him on the path to holiness. To Mary, I pray that she will teach me how to become a wife and mother. I pray that she will teach me how to become a lady. I pray for patience and kindness. Mostly, I pray for love because that is what gets me through the really hard times. I've noticed that since I've started praying as I put Max to sleep that he is not as squirmy. Maybe its because I am calmer, I don't know. Then, before I lay him down, I pray a Hail Mary that he will not wake up. And you know what? Only once he has.
But I still have my nights of impatience. And Max still squirms in my arms. And sometimes I forget to pray. This past week has been hard because I have been so exhausted. Max had gone from waking up once a night to twice a night. And because I have to be so awake to put him back to sleep, I have a really hard time getting back to sleep. The other night, I guess you could say I had somewhat of a meltdown. After another night of rocking Max to sleep and my back and shoulders burning, I went to my room and closed the door and prayed. It was not really a great prayer, but a very honest one. I told God how I was so frusterated, that I was so tired both physically and mentally, and that I needed a "renewal of spirit". Lately I had been unreasonably lashing out at God. I feel bad about that, because that just proves how "great" my spiritual life has been lately. When I would hear Max cry in the middle of the night, I would grumpily say to God, "I thought I asked You to have him sleep through the night???" Then I would feel guilty and apologize, but the resentment was still there. I felt as though God was not being sympathetic and listening to my prayers. So that night, I asked for God to hear me, to help me to have faith in Him, and to help me to become strong for Max. I told Him I needed my sleep, but that if waking up in the middle of the night was what God wanted, then I needed a renewal of spirit, a little more charity on my part. And finally, I reminded God that He said that whoever came to Him when their yolk was heavy, that He would relieve the burden from their shoulders. With that, I went to bed and asked that Max may sleep through the night, at least until 4:30, and that I would be happy. Otherwise, to help me get up when Max called.
The next morning, I woke up to Max's "call" at 4:30. I was very happy and grateful to God and thanked Him for the night of rest. The day went on and night came again. I had told Dennis about the prayer and this time He asked God to have Max sleep until 5:00, no, 6:00. "Don't push it," I warned Dennis, "I don't expect God to have Max sleep through two nights in a row."
However, that night went by and I heard Max "call" at 6:00 AM, just like Dennis asked.

I'm sure that Max will be waking up again as that's what babies do sometimes. Afterall, like my father-in-law said, "its a long night for babies." But it was nice to have my prayer answered so fully and completely. I feel again that God is listening, and sympathetic to my "plight". Sometimes, I just need a little spiritual uplifting, you know? Its so easy to think that you are alone out there.
It still takes quite a bit of rocking to get Max to sleep. And I still go to bed with knots in my back and shoulders. But its nice to know that Max is able to sleep through the night, even though it doesn't always happen.
One last thing I thought I would mention that I think is interesting: Max loves crucifixes. Every single one, no matter how pretty or plain it is, he lights up and gets so excited when he sees a crucifix. It is the one thing that he will not try to put in his mouth when I show it to him.
My mom says, maybe he will become a priest. I guess we'll see.

Voting Day!

2004-11-02T09:37:00.000-08:00

Well today I voted for the first time. It was quite a hassel. No wonder alot of people don't vote.
Max and I headed over for the voting lines around 8 this morning. We thought we were going to beat the rush. We were wrong. The lines were just as long if not longer than they probably will be tonight. We had to pre-register and I won't even get into that because it is long and boring. But let me just say, that when they say that you need a utility bill with your current address on it to prove you are a resident of the city you live in, they do mean a utility bill, not proof of insurance with a current address. If my neighbor had not been standing behind me, I would have had to go home to find a bill with our address on it and that hour and a half of standing in line would have been for nothing. As it was, my neighbor "vouched" for me and I was able to vote.
Max did better waiting in line than I thought he would. He did not like being in the stroller that I brought so I did have to hold him the entire time but other than that, he did ok. He sat in my arms the usual way he does when he's interested in all that goes around him: "Pointer dog style".
He straightens his back, tenses up his whole body, leans slightly forward, and sucks in his lower lip as looks everywhere with wide eyes (and he doesn't blink). Its rather cute and everyone commented on the baby who was "bright eyed and bushy tailed". He fussed only a little, but mostly he watched people in line, and looked at the little kids behind us who were getting restless. He got really excited over the small city statue that we passed, although I don't know why. For a baby that likes active figures, it was a head scratcher to figure out why he liked the immobile statue. But while we stood by the statue as we were standing in line, he cooed and talked to it, leaning forward, trying to touch it. I thanked God for the statue.
We finally got to the table to hand in my card of registration and to get the "OK to vote" voucher. Sitting down at the table, Max sat in my lap and happily pounded on the table as people tried to fill out their cards. I didn't know whether to make him stop and have him fuss or let him entertain himself. "First time sitting at a table, "I tried to joke to the people who looked up from what they were doing to see who was making all the rukus. For the most part, people were tolerant as they could see I had my hands full. I finally got to vote and put the card in the box-thingy. It said that I was #505. And it was only 9:30 in the morning...
So I did my duty for the first time in my life and I have to say I'm happy this only comes about every 4 years. I should probably get to work on cleaning the bathrooms now, seeing that Max is taking a nap and could wake up at anytime. I'll write more later this week!

Wrestling Matches with Max

2004-10-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm still wrestling with Max at night time. I really don't know what to do with him. He acts like he wants to go to bed but then when I try to put him to sleep he fights me. He still arches his back, wiggles around in my arms and starts whining and crying in frustration when he can't find the most comfortable position in my arms.
All this moving around takes a toll in my poor back. Not to mention also my neck, shoulders and arms. I stand there trying different types of rocking, slow jiggly rocking, fast bumpy rocking, or even a fast sway from one side to the other. I don't do that one to often though, because Max always starts squealing with glee when I do that. After unsuccessfully trying to get him to calm down for the night with rocking him, I end up getting burnt out before Max even has a chance to get sleepy. What usually ends up happening is I put him down after rocking him for 10 minutes and he kicks his feet in anger and lets out a loud, drawn out, dramatic cry. Then I lay down on the hard floor trying to get the kinks out of my back while I fight back tears of frusteration. Such is our going-to-bed rituals every single night.
I have tried everything to get Max to settle down for the night. I've tried keeping him up later. I've tried putting him to bed earlier. I've tried calming activities like baths, and baby massage and reading him a book. It doesn't work. He loves the baths and ends up getting more hyper as he discovers that he can splash his feet and hands in the water. He doesn't like baby massage. He gets impatient with me rubbing his arms and legs and jerks them away. As for reading a book, I can't believe I even tried that. He just grabs the book out of my hands and eats it.
I tried praying for a miracle. Then I tried a more rational approach by bargaining with God. I know you aren't supposed to do that, but sometimes, when you are at the end of your rope, I think its ok. "God, if you make Max settle down and fall asleep in the next 10 minutes, I promise I'll spend 15 minutes in prayer rather than watch TV." Funny how those type of prayers always seem to work.
Not only does Max do this fighting me and squirming in my arms thing at bedtime, but he does it in the middle of the night too. For an hour and a half, I rock him while he squirms, arches his back and kicks his feet all the while getting upset that he can't sleep. I admit that some nights when I am feeling very frusterated I purpously do all this right by our bedroom door so that I "accidentally" wake up Dennis and he comes out to help me. Don't worry, its never worked.
Dennis and I have racked our brains, trying to figure out why Max is so hyper and irritable when it comes to going to sleep. Could it be gas? So we give him gas drops. Maybe its the teething. So we give him Tylenol. Maybe he is over-stimulated? Under-stimulated? We dont' know!
Well, one good thing that I can say has come from this is that eventually, Max does settle down after rocking him. It isn't as hard to get him sleepy during the day, so sometimes, all I have to do is give him a bottle and then put him in the crib. Other times, I rock him for just a few minutes until his eyes start to close, and then I lay him down even though he wakes up again. But he always falls back to sleep, and that is reassuring since in a way, he's learning to fall asleep on his own. Its just trying to get him calmed down enough to sleep that is making me stressed.
I guess all I can do is continue my prayer that I pray every day: "Lord, help me to accept motherhood and all the crosses that come with it!"

A seven month old and a pacifier

2004-10-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

You know, all week long, I can always think of something to log on my blog but when the time comes to write, I never can think of anything.
Well, Max is seven months old today. The kid is a brick. He is a big, sturdy baby. He is not fat, but he is very husky. I don't know why I'm even telling you this. Maybe because he looks more like a 9 month old baby than a 7 month old.
I can't wait for him to crawl! I keep asking people, "when do babies start to crawl??" I get a variety of answers that really don't help much. Max doesn't seem to have any interest in crawling. Why should he when he gets free rides from the Mommy Mobile? (Me.) Dennis and I have been trying to figure out where to draw the line when it comes to carrying him around. How much is too much? Lately he cries and screams when we set him down. A lot of times I tote him around as I pick up around the house. Other times I set him down and spend alot of time entertaining him. But he doesn't play by himself anymore. He gets bored real easy and is not interested in his toys lately. But he does like the remote control, our cell phones, wires, and anything else we won't let him play with. I had thought that letting him play with the newspaper would be safe enough but then discovered ink all over his hands.
He is also waking up in the middle of the night again. But I do have to give him credit, he sometimes falls asleep back on his own. But most of the time I have to drag myself out of bed to rock him back to sleep. But guess what he has been doing lately? He's been waking up at 4 in the morning and then fusses to be put back to bed within an hour. That doesn't bother me. I am usually wanting to go back to bed too. But the problem is that lately he wakes up a half hour later and is up for the rest of the morning. That means that when I put him back to bed at 5, he wakes up again at 5:30! Do you have any idea how grumpy this makes me?? Very, very grumpy! I was so grumpy that I refused to play with him on the floor. I just laid on the couch and glared at him while he happily played with his feet.
Well I should get going, but let me leave you with one last story. I was changing Max's diaper one day while he played with his pacifer. He can put it in his mouth lately, which is nice because he can also put it back in when he loses it during the night. Anyway, Max has a pretty large mouth. Ok, he has my big mouth. As I changed his diaper he had his pacifier one minute and the next minute it was gone. I mean, this happened in just a glance. I knew it didn't fall on the ground because I didn't hear it fall. I looked at him, and then noticed that his lips and chubby cheeks looked unusually square-ish. Just as I figered out what happened, Max smiled at me, and there was the pacifier inside his mouth! He had somehow stuffed the entire pacfier inside of his mouth! I quickly dug it out and wanted to laugh, but felt maybe that would be considered a sick thing to laugh at since he could've choked on it. So now we need to buy him toddler-sized pacifers so that we dont' have to worry about him swallowing his pacifiers.
Well, I need to go, its time for bed for Max, hopefully he will go to sleep well and keep things out of his mouth.

Max and his two new teeth

2004-10-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

So now Max has 2 teeth. The second one came in right after the first one. They are so white! Its so weird to see someone with such white teeth. Makes my teeth look so old...
Me and Max went to our first mom's group this week. In fact, that was the day that Max's second tooth was coming in but I didn't know it at the time. We met at the Eden Prairie Panera Bread resturaunt with a bunch of ladies that I had never met before. Normally, that sort of thing would scare me but I guess I have been so desperate for some sort of adult interaction that I didn't care! All the ladies came with their babies. The ages ranged from 2 weeks old to 8 months. All the babies, and I mean all, sat so nicely on their mothers laps or in their car seat. Max was the only really loud baby there. He insisted on standing, then sitting, then bending over, then standing, while yodeling, chirping, whining, crying and squealing. He was pretty loud. He was excited to see so many babies all at the same time. He wanted to play with their toys, play with the notebook that one of the ladies brought, and chew on the chair next to me. But like I said, I didn't realize that Max's tooth was working on coming in. Poor kid! He didn't last longer than 20 minutes. It was embarrassing to be the first one to leave, and just when people were starting to open up and talk too. But he was actually starting to irritate the babies around him so I felt like we had to go, plus, we had Target to go to before we went home.
One of the ladies there was kind enough to suggest buying a soft baby toothbrush for Max to munch on. She said that the bristles massage the gums. I noticed that she had her baby chewing on one so I picked one up at Target and Max loves the toothbrush! It seems to really work. Plus, it cleans his two new teeth too, although the doctor said he would like me to go over the teeth with a wet washcloth at night.
So I will be going back to the mom's group at the next meeting, and hopefully Max will tolerate it a little better. But at the same time, it would be nice to meet somewhere a little more baby-friendly where it is ok for babies to be loud instead of some quiet resteraunt.
We are still settling into the new house. I have been throwing out the ugly curtains that were left behind (why did they even leave them??) and today Dennis is putting some mini blinds up in Max's room and throwing away the pink balloon curtains! Hurray! Finally, we can give Max his boy room! I have some painting plans that I'll be doing in his room that I'm really looking forward to. But first we need to finish unpacking, and hanging pictures and all taht. Max is tolerating the new house a lot better. I think it helped to clean things up a bit. It probably was hard for him to be on his stomach and all he could see were boxes and boxes and boxes...
Well, I need to head back to the house now. The President is visiting here in town and the police have alot of streets blocked off so it will take me a little longer to get home. I hope to log one more time before we disconnect the internet next week.
See ya!

Moving Day

2004-10-04T16:56:00.000-07:00

So we finally are moved into our new home! I have only spent about 2 days at our new house and already I'm missing our apartment. Never happy, am I? Actually at this moment I'm at the apartment now because we still have not taken down our computer yet. (We still have the end of the month to be at the apartment). Dennis wants to try to set things up with a new internet company and in the meantime, we're leaving things set up here.
Moving day was hectic, of course. We had friends helping us, and for some reason one of Dennis's friends wife wanted to come with her 2 year old daughter. Not only that, but the girlfriend of another friend also wanted to come with her 3 year old daughter. I guess I didn't mind if they wanted to help, but they brought their kids--and also the wife was 8 months pregnant so of course she couldn't help. It was just more work with kids running around...
But I was grumpy that day so of course I was seeing everything negatively. The kids were pretty good though, I have to give them credit. And they loved Max, and Max loved them. Unfortunatly he did not love the girlfriend and the wife who just wanted to hold and play with Max all the time. There was so much going on for poor Max. Here were a bunch of people that he had never seen before going in and out of our apartment, taking out things that he was familiar with, plus he had these two women after him all the time--all he wanted was to be left alone by them. But no, as usual, I caved in as always and allowed the women to hold Max, thinking that it would do him some good to be exposed to new people.
Me and Max and a couple friends of mine that had showed up escaped to the house to do some unpacking while Dennis and his friends (and the two women and kids) continued to bring things out of the apartment and load up the truck. I was thankful that the women and kids didn't follow us. I just wanted Max to be able to get somewhat used to his new enviroment before the chaos of moving things in started all over again. He did calm down somewhat, and even was good when my two friends played with him. But he began to fussy again once everyone showed up and things got hectic again. I finally began to think like a mother though, and said no to the women who wanted to hold Max. He was just too tired, too overstimulated (and it was past his bedtime) and didn't want to be held by strangers. I could tell the women were a little offended even though I tried to explain my reasons to them. But I guess in the end I didn't care. The only feelings I really cared about were Max's, and he had too much on his place with a new enviroment for me to care about any adults feelings.
Everyone finally left and Dennis and I have been trying to get things put in order. Its coming together slowly but surely. And Max is slowly starting to get used to his new home too. Its pretty big to him, and he's not used to me disappearing from one room to another. But soon it will become cozy, I'm sure. We have some really nice neighbors, and an eight year old girl has already befriended Max, and Max seems to like her.
I'll try to write again as soon as we get the internet set up.

Max got his first tooth!

2004-10-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Hurray for milestones! I woke up this morning to a baby being plopped on my stomach (flashback to the day I gave birth) and opened my eyes to see two big eyes and a drooling mouth looking down at me. Right above, was Dennis, who had plopped Max on my stomach--his signal for time to get up, I've been watching him all morning.
I said hello to Max and layed him on the bed with me, and when he started to laugh I noticed a pearl of a tooth breaking through his swollen pink gums, jus the tip of the iceberg, but it was there! Getting all excited, I yelled for Dennis to come quick, and he did, thinking something was wrong. But he forgave me for the scare after he saw Max's tooth coming through.
We cheered and congratulated Max for this big milestone--and Max soaked it up, loving the attention. But the cheerfulness didn't last long. Pretty soon, he was burying his head in my shoulder, wanting to go to sleep but not being sleepy enough, and wanting to suck on his pacifier but spitting it out because it hurt too much. Break out the Baby Oragel and the Baby Tylenol/Motrin!
Today of all days for his tooth to come through is bad timing because today we are moving into our new house. On top of that, my mom, who was supposed to watch Max today, is in the hospital for stroke-like symptoms that she was having last night. She didn't have a stroke, but they are keeping her for tests. So after Max wakes up, we are going to the hospital to cheer Grandma up! Dennis said that would be fine because he and his friends will do most of the moving. Later I will meet them at the house to help with the unpacking.
We saw the house for the first time yesterday. It was so weird, having a house and never seeing it. (The house technically is owned by my parents--Dennis and I are going to fix it up and rent it from them, and then it will be sold and my parents will get the profit). We entered the house cautiously and quietly, not sure if the former owner was still there or not. We looked at each room, commenting to eachother over and over that this was our new home now, and how weird it was to be seeing it for the first time. We love the house, but it does need some fixing up and updating. We were a little disappointed that it has a tuck-under garage--and the garage is right underneathe the bedrooms. So everytime we open the garage doors the rooms shake. Not good for a very light sleeping baby. Oh well. Its just something he will have to get used to I guess.
Well, I should go now, we have a lot to do. I will write again as soon as we get settled!

Six month old!

2004-09-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I have wrote. I've been busy. Its weird that I can be busy when I am a stay at home mom, because there are some days when I do find time to sit on the couch. But that isn't because I don't have anything to do. I'm just so tired sometimes, I can't stand the thought of doing one more thing.
I have been helping my brother with his website project. I work on it while Max sleeps, and when he is awake I try to catch up on errands and housework and still spend quality time with Max. Its hard to fit everything in. I haven't even been able to make dinner! I can't remember the last time that Dennis and I sat down together to eat dinner. I asked Dennis yesterday when we finally had time to sit down together at 9:oo in the evening, "What should we do about dinner?" And he said just as enthusiastically (which was not very enthusiastic) "I don't know..."
He ended up making a sandwhich and I ate... something, but I don't remember what.

We will be moving soon, thank goodness. I feel like we're living on top of eachother in this small apartment. As I've said before, Max sleeps in our room until Dennis and I are ready to go to bed for the night, and we have to be so careful about the noise we make. The walls are about as thin as paper around here. The other night, Max woke up 5 times. Yes, five times. I was extrememly grumpy. The fifth time that Max woke up was poor Dennis's fault. I say poor Dennis because he got yelled at by me. But you have to understand, this kid is nearly 20 pounds now. Its very hard to be rocking him to sleep. Yes, I still rock him to sleep. Well, actually, I rock him until he's nice and calmed down and then he goes to sleep on his own so its really not that bad. Right now, until we move, I have to rock him to sleepiness because there is no way that I'm going to put him in our room and shut the door for 2 hours when he might be in there trying to crawl around. THe other day I checked in on him when he was taking a really long nap and found that he had rolled himeself out of his little bed that we put on the floor and somehow creeped/rolled under the bed. I found all sorts of nice hairballs and dustballs in his sticky little hands.
He is starting to learn to crawl but hasn't figured it out yet. Dennis has really been encouraging him by placing Max on all fours and then Max falls flat on his face. Don't get me wrong, I want Max to learn how to crawl too, but like I said, I don't want him to be crawling around in our room getting into who knows what when I'm not there to watch him. One and a half more weeks until we move, and then let him crawl! By that time, he will be in his own room, safe in his own crib. Until he learns to climb out....

So today Max is 6 months old! I have been waiting for six months forever! Now that its here, I have to say that everyone was right. Max is really starting to be alot of fun. Happy, talkative (in baby language, that is) and curious about the world, its fun to hold him, entertain him and make him laugh. I love my boy, even if he is a handful. What a wonderful handful he is though!

I need your help!

2004-09-13T07:36:00.000-07:00

So I have this problem and I'm hoping that somebody, anybody, might help me.
Max is getting old enough now that I should be able to put him down for the night and he falls asleep on is own. Or at least thats what the baby books say. But we have a problem. One is that we live in a one bedroom apartment and his crib is in the living room, the other is that we used the car seat to put him to sleep for so long that now he is used to it and doesn't fall asleep in anything else. Unless Dennis and I want to go to bed at 7:30 every night, I don't see myself putting Max to bed in the crib. And like I said, he is used to the car seat. We used it when he was a newborn to 3 months to help him feel more secure and it seemed to work. When he turned 4 months I began to put him to sleep on our bed and he seemed to be doing ok with that. But then he started rolling over and becoming more active and I felt nervous about leaving him on the bed so we went back to the car seat while Dennis constructed a home-made bed for Max. Basically its plywood with carpet lining on it and an egg crate mattress stapled on top of it for a little bed. For the sheet, we used one of Max's bath blankets. (He has about a million of them and yet I remember registering only for one). So I lay him down on it and then transport the little bed to the floor so that Max will be safe. Well, for the most part, its worked. But now I'm getting signals from Max that he doesn't need me to rock him to sleep anymore, which is fine with me. But the problem is that he can't seem to put himself to sleep either.
So when I try to put him to sleep, he twists and turns in my arms, arches his back, looks around and tries to find the perfect position. It takes nearly a half hour before he finally settles down to sleep. But he is in such a light sleep that everytime I try to put him down on the little bed, he wakes up. And the more often he wakes up, the harder it is to put him to sleep again. Thats when I would resort to the carseat. I would put him in it with blankets, then swing the carseat until he fell asleep. But like I said, I want to stop using the car seat so much. I just want it for the car. I have also tried to put him on the little bed and then leave the room, but everytime I do that, he lays there for about a half hour trying to get to sleep until he finally starts to cry, exhausted.

So I'm sorry if this is so long, but to sum up, I need help with these three things:

1. Putting Max to bed and teaching him to fall asleep on his own. (Should I try to teach him this now or wait another month when we move into an actual house and Max will have his own room??)

2. How to wean him off the car seat and help him to learn to sleep flat on his back. Remember, he is not learning to do this in his crib like most babies do because we don't have the crib in a seperate room.

3. And last, but not least, what should I do when Max really wants to go to sleep but he is fighting sleep at the same time?? I should mention that I have tried to keep him up thinking that he isn't tired, but it seems to backfire on me every time. The longer I wait to put Max to bed, the more impossible it is because he only becomes more and more agitated as he becomes more fatigued.

If some experienced mothers (or fathers) have any ideas or suggestions, please let me know!
In the meantime, I'll continue to write about my adventures and thoughts as a new mom!

2004-09-11T15:29:00.000-07:00

Max at 5 months

Max and his baths

2004-09-10T14:39:00.000-07:00

So its been a few days since I've been able to log my blog. I've been kept busy by helping out my brother with his internet biz in exchange for $600. I promised my hubby that I would do everything I could to help out with money so I had to do this.
I hate to say it, but as I write this Max is watching Barney. I did not want him to be watching TV this young--but he rarely watches it. Dennis and I only use it as a last minute resort for distraction, and Max needs the distraction! He really wants to go to bed. He has been doing what I call "baby yodeling" for the past hour now which is what he does when he's tired. The baby yodeling soon changes to baby screeching. But he still has at least 15 minutes before he can go to bed, and even then it will still be very early. He will wake up tonight for sure. (sigh)
Anyway, thank goodness for Barney! Max only likes one video of Barney--and that's Barney in Concert. Dennis and I couldn't figure out what it was about Barney in Concert that he liked so much--until one day I did the "YMCA" dance for Max for fun. He loved it! So I guess that's why Max likes the video so much--because Barney and his "Backyard Gang" do a lot of songs and dances together.

Anyway, the other day I bought a Safety Bather for Max. For those of you who don't know what that is, its a big sponge-like cushion that you put in the bathtub for the baby and he/she lies on it. Max is a pretty strong baby, and he does not like his baths. He doesn't cry, he just fights me the whole time while I try to give him a bath. Its like giving a bath to a cat. He arches his back, somehow manages to stand up when I want him to sit down, and slips and slides all around the tub. It got to the point where it was too dangerous for me to give Max his bath by myself because of all the fighting and squirming that would go on. More than once, Max would nearly slip out of my hands and that was before I put the soap on him! I had Dennis help me hold Max down while I gave him his baths and I would actually have to get into the bathtub with Max in order to wash him while Dennis held him. I would squat in the tub, trying to balance and not get my pants wet but that was pointless because Max was doing so much squirming and splashing anyway that I always had to change my clothes after Max and I had our baths. The baby bathtub was good for maybe the first 2 months, and then after that Max was starting to discover standing up and it all went down hill from there. So that was when I found the Safety Bather. I recommend it to anyone that has squirmy children or cats! I put Max on it and for the first time, I didn't need five hands or Dennis to hold Max down as I washed him! He actually relaxed onto the sponge and layed down on it. He still seemed a little nervous, but nothing like before. Afterwards, he had a few minutes of playing time with the sponge as he sat on it and I scooted him around in the water. I actually can't wait to give him another bath--before I dreaded them and put them off for as long as I could.

Well, I think that is all I will write for now. I can hear Barney winding up with his show so I better get things ready for putting Max to bed. Hope to write again tomorrow!

Crazy Day

2004-09-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how tired I am today. Its been an exhausting day. Max has been crabby all day. All he wants to do lately is sleep. He's been rubbing his eyes so much when he's tired that he has scratches all over his face. I try to keep him up for a couple of hours at a time, but he wants to go back to bed literally a half hour after he wakes up from his hour naps. I'm not sure why. Is he under-stimulated? Over stimulated?? I go from trying to keep my voice nice and quiet to being loud and exciting to see if it helps things any. It doesn't seem to do anything. So I let him sleep as much during the day as much as I dare to.
I'm disappointed. As of right now, he's sleeping again. My husband is on his way home from a long day at work and I always try to make it a point for me and Max to be sitting on the front steps waiting for him. I always think that its nice to have a warm reception for the tired provider. I know that things have been harder for Dennis at work since I began staying home with Max. Plus, I know that Dennis enjoys seeing us sitting there waiting for him. So its hard for me to be inside, waiting for Max to wake up, while Dennis is on his way home.
Besides being tired because Max has been crabby and has insisted on being toted everywhere I go, its also been crazy. Max had a diaper full of doo-doo and we ran out of wipes. I couldn't find any anywhere. I had to put Max down on the carpet with a towel underneath him as I ran to the kitchen to get some paper towels and a bowl full of warm water. When I got back, Max had rolled over onto his tummy (of course) and had somehow scooted off of the towel and was smearing his doo-doo mess all over the carpet. I had not had a chance to wipe off his front yet. Not only that, but the mess had somehow smeared all the way to the back of his neck. It was a mess. As this was all happening, the over timer was going off, reminding me that the cookies I had put in the oven were burning.
Needless to say, my husband and Max are going to Target today to get more wipes while I take a break at home! Well, hopefully things will be better with Max when he wakes up from his 4th nap. I wish I knew what was going on with him. They weren't kidding when they said its always a guessing game with your baby. I think Dennis had said the same thing about women...

Thank goodness for water!

2004-09-06T08:25:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of going on with my stories of my first few weeks with Max but that would take too long. Max is now 5 1/2 months old and by the time I finish with all my stories, he will be all grown up!
To sum up about my early days with Max, I will say it was an adventure. Max is not the type of baby that everyone else's seemed to be. He was not (and still is not) the type of baby to fall asleep in the car. He was not the type of baby to be content with just anyone holding him or putting him down. You always had to be doing something with him or he just wasn't happy. Nobody believed us on this when we told them that Max tends to be a fussy baby. But then Grandma #1 babysat him and she remarked, "he's fun...but he's a lot of work, isn't he?" And Grandma #2 said after a day of not being able to work on her knitting, "He sure does switch on a dime, doesn't he?" But of course they still love him and both of them pester us to bring Max for visits.
Max was borderline of being a colicky baby. That's my opinion, anyway. There have been a few people that insist that he never was, but they also never lived with us, did they?? We spent our evenings for about 3 hours pacing the living room back and forth, trying to calm Max down. Dennis finally discovered the faucet trick. As he stopped to get a drink of water (after 3 hours of walking back and forth you can work up a sweat) while Max was crying, Max suddenly got quiet. Dennis finished filling his glass of water, drank it, and turned off the water. Then Max started crying again. Dennis turned on the faucet again--and Max got quiet. Turned it off, Max started crying. Thus, we spent 3 hours bouncing back and forth in front of a running faucet. I got my half hour breaks in the evenings while Dennis watched Max. I always knew without even entering the apartment how the evening was spent. All I had to do was listen for running water. It got to the point where we were so used to keeping the faucet running all the time that we forgot to shut if off! Whenever we would go to visit someone at their house, I would have to go and shut off the bathroom faucet after Dennis used the bathroom because he forgot to shut it off after washing his hands, and vice versa. I guess its a good thing our apartment manager pays the water bill!
Its not like that anymore. Max still likes the sound of running water, but we don't use it to calm him down. He just simply likes to hear it run and watch it pour out of the faucet. The other day he was laughing and getting all excited because the faucet was dripping. I guess he liked the sound of the water hitting the sink. What can I say--the kid doesn't need as much entertainment anymore. We've also discovered that he likes it when we disco dance. It can't be just any sort of dance, it has to be with a lot of exaggerated arm action. Last week, I brought Max in to get his pictures taken and we couldn't get Max to smile. He kept zoning out and staring at the amazing lights...so the photograher had me stand behind her and try to make Max smile. No amount of funny faces or goofy sounds would make him laugh. No, nothing worked exept the disco dancing. Thank goodness I was standing behind the photographer. How embarressing.
Well, that is all I will write today. Max is sleeping and I only have about 15 more minutes to clean, do the dishes and take a shower. See you tomorrow!

My first log on my first blog!

2004-09-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

Well this is my first log and my first blog. I'm not exactly sure what I should write about my experience as a new mother. I'm not really sure who would be interested in reading about my experiences as a new mom since there are about a ka-jillion new moms out there and have their own experiences to tell. But you never know, maybe you guys that want to read this just has some time to kill. So what the heck, here we go.

I became a new mommy in action on March 23rd, 2004. Little Maximillian was born on his due date just like a good boy. Well, he wasn't exactly little, he was born 9 lbs 4 oz. We had to take his out by C-section. Not because he was so big (although that didn't help any) but because he had his head turned to the right. You know, to this day he sleeps with his head to the right. Strange...

My husband (Dennis) and I took our "little bundle of bump" (thats what we called him when I was pregnant with him because I looked like I had a big bump in my stomach) home and we sat there thinking, "now what?" We didn't have to wait for very long for something to do. We had some pizza and my sister wanted to get us started on my first breast feeding lesson. After days of many lessons and my son wiggling and fighting me, I was exhausted. I found out that both my son and I are very much alike: we both have a short fuse and very little patience. I spent alot of time crying over the fact that my son wasn't latching onto me like he was supposed to be. I envied the mothers who said that their times spent breast feeding their babies were the most relaxing times ever. Mine were spent trying to hold my son down, keeping his little arms and fists from pounding on me and pushing me away. Crying in frusteration because I couldn't relax and no milk was coming to him. We saw a lactation expert who helped us and for once, my son was able to nurse! It was the best feeling ever! I wanted to take the lactation nurse home with me. When we got home, it was the same. My baby fought me, hit me, pulled my hair, and was so hungry because I couldn't feed him. I finally made the decision to just pump so he could get the nutrition he needed, without the emotional battle that we both went through. I didn't feel it was worth the fight, and I didn't want to spend my first few weeks fighting and getting upset with my baby. It was more important to me that we establish a good mother-son relationship. It wasn't easy to give up the dream of breast feeding though. To this day, I still get the raised eyebrows and the motherly looks of disapproval when people ask if Max is breastfed and I have to tell them no. Then I get the lectures about the benefits of breastfeeding and so on. I have to many times bite my tongue to keep the retorts from coming: that my son is healthy, he is getting the nutrition he needs, and we have great bonding experiences despite the fact that I decided to give up nursing. It wasn't easy to give up the nursing idea; it just seemed like the right thing to do. And to go against the grain was not easy for me. But I'm glad I did it because I was able to be "emotionally there" for my son instead of constantly fighting with him and trying to make him eat the way I thought I should have him eat. And he is a beefer with alot of health. And so was my first real experience and first decision making as a mother. Little did I know that it was just the start of many...